Best Funny Quotes - BonjourQuotes

Funny Quotes

1. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” —Will Ferrell

2. “Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.” —Ellen DeGeneres

3.“I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.” —Jimmy Kimmel

4."Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes." -Jim Carrey

5.“If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.” —Aldo Cammarota

6. “My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” —Socrates

7."Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer." -Ellen DeGeneres

8. "Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours." -Yogi Berra

9."If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out." -Lawrence Ferlinghetti

10. "Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak." -Alan Dundes

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